dāshànㄉㄚ ㄕㄢˋ
to strike up a conversation; to hit on someone, literally “climb the conversation”
The umbrella verb for approaching a stranger, from polite small talk to a street pick-up. '被搭讪' is what happened to you; '搭讪技巧' is a whole genre of advice content.
撩
liāoㄌㄧㄠ
to flirt, to tease (romantically), literally “to stir up”
The modern flirting verb: 撩妹 'flirt with girls', 撩汉 'flirt with guys', 很会撩 'smooth operator'. Implies skillful teasing, not crude moves.
shuàigēㄕㄨㄞˋ ㄍㄜ
handsome guy; (address) hey handsome, literally “handsome brother”
Double life: a description and a street address for any young man, used by vendors, waiters and strangers. On dating apps it's an opener; at a market it's just 'excuse me sir'.
měinǚㄇㄟˇ ㄋㄩˇ
pretty lady; (address) excuse me miss, literally “beautiful woman”
Same dual use as 帅哥: flattering address to almost any young woman. So common it's nearly neutral; delivery decides whether it reads as polite or as a catcall.
小姐姐
xiǎojiějiěㄒㄧㄠˇ ㄐㄧㄝˇ ㄐㄧㄝˇ
a cute way to address young women, literally “little older sister”
The affectionate net-era address that fixed the problem of 小姐 carrying escort connotations in the mainland. Friendly, slightly flirty, non-threatening.
小哥哥
xiǎogēgeㄒㄧㄠˇ ㄍㄜ ㄍㄜ˙
a cute way to address young men, literally “little older brother”
The matching address for men, popularized by livestreamers and fan culture. Warm and slightly teasing, the safe flirty opener.
交个朋友 交個朋友
jiāo ge péngyǒuㄐㄧㄠ ㄍㄜ˙ ㄆㄥˊ ㄧㄡˇ
let's be friends (the soft opener), literally “make a friend”
The classic low-pressure approach: asking for friendship is socially acceptable, so it's the standard door-opener. Everyone understands the actual intent, that's the joke.
加个微信 加個微信
jiā ge Wēixìnㄐㄧㄚ ㄍㄜ˙ ㄨㄟ ㄒㄧㄣˋ
let's add each other on WeChat, literally “add a WeChat”
The actual modern pick-up line: getting someone's WeChat is step one of everything, from networking to dating. '方便加个微信吗' is the polite frame.
留个联系方式 留個聯繫方式
liú ge liánxì fāngshìㄌㄧㄡˊ ㄍㄜ˙ ㄌㄧㄢˊ ㄒㄧˋ ㄈㄤ ㄕˋ
leave me your contact info, literally “leave a contact method”
The formal-circumlocution version of the ask: works in business cards and bar conversations alike.
一个人吗 一個人嗎
yí ge rén maㄧ ㄍㄜ˙ ㄖㄣˊ ㄇㄚ˙
are you here alone?, literally “one person?”
The reconnaissance question: asking whether someone is single/available in one breath. Direct, obvious, everyone knows what it means.
我们见过吗 我們見過嗎
wǒmen jiànguò maㄨㄛˇ ㄇㄣ˙ ㄐㄧㄢˋ ㄍㄨㄛˋ ㄇㄚ˙
have we met before?, literally “have we met”
The oldest opener in the book and Chinese dating advice columns mock it mercilessly, which makes using it a litmus test for how seriously you take yourself.
yǒuyuánㄧㄡˇ ㄩㄢˊ
fated to meet; it's destiny, literally “having affinity”
The romantic framing of coincidence: '我们真有缘分' upgrades a random meeting into fate. Deep Buddhist roots, daily pickup use.
cpdd
c p d d
couple-up please; looking for a partner, literally “CP滴滴”
Gaming-chat shorthand: CP = couple, 滴滴 = the notification sound. Teens spam it in game lobbies. Written as letters because it's a code.
扩列 擴列
kuòlièㄎㄨㄛˋ ㄌㄧㄝˋ
expand the contact list; add friends, literally “expand the list”
Teen social-network vocabulary: growing your contact list for the sake of it, the gateway to anonymous-chat dating.
你真漂亮
nǐ zhēn piàoliangㄋㄧˇ ㄓㄣ ㄆㄧㄠˋ ㄌㄧㄤ˙
you're beautiful, literally “you truly beautiful”
The direct compliment: simple, powerful, slightly risky with strangers because it announces intent immediately. Safer with the 笑起来很好看 route first.
hǎokànㄏㄠˇ ㄎㄢˋ
good-looking, pretty, literally “good to look at”
The safest looks-compliment: unisex, casual, works for people, clothes and apartments. '你很好看' is warm without being heavy.
有气质 有氣質
yǒu qìzhìㄧㄡˇ ㄑㄧˋ ㄓˋ
you have class, real presence, literally “have air/temperament”
The compliment Chinese speakers reach for when 'pretty' isn't enough: praises poise and bearing rather than features. Considered the higher-tier compliment.
有魅力
yǒu mèilìㄧㄡˇ ㄇㄟˋ ㄌㄧˋ
charismatic, magnetic, literally “have charm”
Praises the pull, not the packaging. Works on anyone and ages well, which is why it's a compliment adults give each other.
kě'àiㄎㄜˇ ㄞˋ
cute, adorable, literally “worthy of love”
The most-deployed compliment in the language and a minefield: girls call everything 可爱, while guys hear '可爱' as friendzone fuel. Context is everything.
xìnggǎnㄒㄧㄥˋ ㄍㄢˇ
sexy, literally “feeling-natured”
Directly means sexy and reads that way: a real compliment between dates, a risky one to acquaintances. '嗓音很性感' (a husky voice) is the safer innuendo.
mírénㄇㄧˊ ㄖㄣˊ
enchanting, bewitching, literally “mesmerizing person”
One level past 好看: a person whose presence pulls you in. Carries a slightly dramatic, swoony flavor.
nǚshénㄋㄩˇ ㄕㄣˊ
goddess; dream girl, literally “female deity”
The pedestal compliment: your crush, your idol, the actress on the poster. Paired with 男神 for men.
男神
nánshénㄋㄢˊ ㄕㄣˊ
the ideal man; dream guy, literally “male deity”
The male counterpart of 女神: unattainable crush tier. 男神标配 'boyfriend-material specs' is how the term gets used in advice content.
yōumòㄧㄡ ㄇㄛˋ
funny, has a sense of humor, literally “humor”
The personality compliment everyone claims to rank first on their list. '你很幽默' also doubles as a soft warning when the joke landed badly: 'that's real funny'.
wēnróuㄨㄣ ㄖㄡˊ
gentle, tender, literally “warm and soft”
The premium personality compliment, for the soft-spoken and considerate. '他对我特别温柔' is relationship-report vocabulary.
tǐtiēㄊㄧˇ ㄊㄧㄝ
thoughtful, considerate, literally “body-intimate”
Noticing what someone needs before they ask: the trait Chinese dating profiles list most. '很体贴' is a top-tier character reference.
暖男
nuǎnnánㄋㄨㄢˇ ㄋㄢˊ
a warm, caring guy, literally “warm man”
The boyfriend-material archetype of the 2010s: attentive, gentle, remembers your order. A genuine compliment, occasionally teased as 'too nice'.
身材好
shēncái hǎoㄕㄣ ㄘㄞˊ ㄏㄠˇ
has a good figure, literally “body good”
The physique compliment: less about face, more about build. '身材真好' hits different than 好看.
有料
yǒuliàoㄧㄡˇ ㄌㄧㄠˋ
curvy, stacked; has substance, literally “has material”
Double meaning: intellectually substantive AND physically curvy. The second usage is locker-room register, say it about someone's figure carefully.
大长腿 大長腿
dàchángtuǐㄉㄚˋ ㄔㄤˊ ㄊㄨㄟˇ
long legs; the leggy type, literally “big long legs”
The physical compliment that needs no introduction: '大长腿' describes both the feature and the person who has it.
fùjīㄈㄨˋ ㄐㄧ
abs, literally “abdomen muscle”
The thirst-object of the gym era: 有腹肌 on a profile does more work than any bio line. Six-pack territory.
yuēhuìㄩㄝ ㄏㄨㄟˋ
a date; to go on a date, literally “arranged meeting”
The unambiguous word for a romantic date. 约会吧 'let's go on a date' is the clear ask; 出去约会 means you're officially dating.
请吃饭 請吃飯
qǐng chīfànㄑㄧㄥˇ ㄔ ㄈㄢˋ
invite to dinner (the default ask-out), literally “treat to a meal”
The workhorse of Chinese courtship: '我请你吃饭吧' is the standard, low-pressure date invitation. Whoever invites pays, that's the built-in rule.
有空一起吃饭 有空一起吃飯
yǒukòng yìqǐ chīfànㄧㄡˇ ㄎㄨㄥˋ ㄧ ㄑㄧˇ ㄔ ㄈㄢˋ
let's grab dinner sometime, literally “when free, eat together”
The soft ask: vague enough to save face if declined, clear enough to register interest. Replies of 好啊 vs 再说吧 tell you everything.
送你回家
sòng nǐ huíjiāㄙㄨㄥˋ ㄋㄧˇ ㄏㄨㄟˊ ㄐㄧㄚ
walk/drive you home, literally “send you home”
The classic date-ending move loaded with meaning: offering to escort someone home signals care and interest at once.
biǎobáiㄅㄧㄠˇ ㄅㄞˊ
to confess feelings; a love confession, literally “express openly”
The formal declaration: Chinese dating culture treats 表白 as a discrete event, sometimes an elaborate staged affair with flowers and witnesses. 表白成功 means they said yes.
wǒ xǐhuan nǐㄨㄛˇ ㄒㄧˇ ㄏㄨㄢ˙ ㄋㄧˇ
I like you, literally “I like you”
The line. Chinese confesses with 喜欢 (like) where English uses love: 我爱你 is heavier and usually comes later.
在一起
zài yìqǐㄗㄞˋ ㄧ ㄑㄧˇ
be together; make it official, literally “at together”
The status-change phrase: 我们在一起了 'we're together now' is how relationships get announced. '在一起吗' is the direct question.
zhuīㄓㄨㄟ
to pursue, to woo, literally “chase”
The courtship verb: 追她 'pursue her' carries the traditional frame of one person working to win the other over. 追到手 means the pursuit succeeded.
处对象 處對象
chǔ duìxiàngㄔㄨˇ ㄉㄨㄟˋ ㄒㄧㄤˋ
be in a relationship (northern colloquial), literally “carry on with a partner”
Down-to-earth northern talk for dating: '你们处对象呢?' asks whether two people are an item. Less formal than 谈恋爱, the word aunties actually use.
tán liàn'àiㄊㄢˊ ㄌㄧㄢˋ ㄞˋ
date, be in a relationship, literally “talk love”
The standard term for being romantically involved: 谈恋爱了 means officially dating. 谈 'discuss' + 恋爱 'love' frames courtship as a project.
发好人卡 發好人卡
fā hǎorén kǎㄈㄚ ㄏㄠˇ ㄖㄣˊ ㄎㄚˇ
give the nice-guy card; friendzone, literally “issue a good-person card”
From the rejection script '你是个好人，但是...': 'you're a great person, but'. Getting 好人卡 means friendzoned; issuing it is the standard soft let-down.
jùjuéㄐㄩˋ ㄐㄩㄝˊ
to reject, turn down, literally “resist and refuse”
Formal word for the turn-down. Chinese etiquette favors indirect refusals (忙, 下次吧, 我们还是做朋友吧), so an actual 拒绝 is noticeably blunt.
ànliànㄢˋ ㄌㄧㄢˋ
a secret crush; to have a crush on, literally “dark love”
Loving from the shadows without telling them. Chinese pop culture treats 暗恋 as its own genre: novels, songs, and the painful 暗恋对象.
wǎngliànㄨㄤˇ ㄌㄧㄢˋ
online romance, literally “net love”
Dating that lives on screens: app matches, game friends, forum DMs. 奔现 'meet in real life' is the natural sequel.
异地恋 異地戀
yìdìliànㄧˋ ㄉㄧˋ ㄌㄧㄢˋ
long-distance relationship, literally “different-place love”
The defining modern relationship stress-test. 异地恋修成正果 'long-distance that made it' is the victory phrase.
chūliànㄔㄨ ㄌㄧㄢˋ
first love, literally “first love”
The person you never quite forget. Chinese culture romanticizes 初恋 the way English does: idealized, usually lost.
qiánrènㄑㄧㄢˊ ㄖㄣˋ
the ex, literally “previous incumbent”
Literally 'previous office-holder': same word as a former president or manager, which is the joke built into it. 前任攻略 'Ex Files' is a whole movie franchise.
fēnshǒuㄈㄣ ㄕㄡˇ
break up; to break up, literally “separate hands”
The standard breakup word. 我们分手吧 is the line; 被分手 is 'got dumped'; 分手快乐 is the ironic consolation.
fùhéㄈㄨˋ ㄏㄜˊ
get back together, reconcile, literally “re-unite”
The sequel nobody's friends approve of: 复合 is taking an ex back. 分手后复合 gets its own advice-column genre.
wǎnhuíㄨㄢˇ ㄏㄨㄟˊ
win back, salvage, literally “pull back”
The attempt to reverse a breakup: 挽回前任 is the phrase and the search term. Implies effort to fix what broke.
jiéhūnㄐㄧㄝˊ ㄏㄨㄣ
get married; marriage, literally “tie the marriage”
The endgame vocabulary. Chinese asks 结婚了吗 'are you married?' far more freely than English does: family members, taxi drivers, new colleagues all ask.
qiúhūnㄑㄧㄡˊ ㄏㄨㄣ
marriage proposal; to propose, literally “request marriage”
The formal ask, increasingly a staged event. 求婚戒指 the ring, 求婚现场 the scene.
奔现 奔現
bènxiànㄅㄣˋ ㄒㄧㄢˋ
meet in real life (after online dating), literally “rush to reality”
The critical moment of online romance: when the chat finally meets the person. 奔现翻车 'the meeting went wrong' is its own genre.
死缠烂打 死纏爛打
sǐchán làndǎㄙˇ ㄔㄢˊ ㄌㄢˋ ㄉㄚˇ
relentless pursuit; won't take no, literally “die-wrap wild-beat”
The negative courtship: pursuing someone who already said no. Every rejection-advice column warns this is harassment, not romance.
yùqín gùzòngㄩˋ ㄑㄧㄣˊ ㄍㄨˋ ㄗㄨㄥˋ
play hard to get, literally “to catch, first release”
The ancient stratagem turned dating tactic: loosen to tighten, appear less available to raise the price. Advice columns treat it as a real technique.
xiàn yīnqínㄒㄧㄢˋ ㄧㄣ ㄑㄧㄣˊ
fawning attentiveness; brown-nosing romance, literally “offer earnest devotion”
The try-hard courtship: carrying bags, buying breakfast, hovering. The saying '无事献殷勤，非奸即盗' warns that unsought niceness hides an agenda.
zìzuò duōqíngㄗˋ ㄗㄨㄛˋ ㄉㄨㄛ ㄑㄧㄥˊ
flattering yourself they're into you, literally “self-made surplus feeling”
The humbling realization that the smile meant nothing: 自作多情 is misreading politeness as interest. The anti-romance pill.
féngchǎng zuòxìㄈㄥˊ ㄔㄤˇ ㄗㄨㄛˋ ㄒㄧˋ
playing along; not serious, literally “meet the stage, do the play”
Acting affectionate for the occasion without meaning it: the player excuse and the accusation at once.
闪婚 閃婚
shǎnhūnㄕㄢˇ ㄏㄨㄣ
whirlwind marriage, literally “flash marriage”
Married within months of meeting: the opposite of the traditional slow courtship. 闪离 (flash divorce) is the natural follow-up.
奉子成婚
fèngzǐ chénghūnㄈㄥˋ ㄗˇ ㄔㄥˊ ㄏㄨㄣ
shotgun wedding, literally “receive child, complete marriage”
Married because pregnant: the euphemism carries the social framing. Still common enough that the phrase stays necessary.
xīndòngㄒㄧㄣ ㄉㄨㄥˋ
heart flutter; smitten, literally “heart moves”
The moment feelings start: 对你心动 'feel something for you'. Reality dating shows are literally called 心动的信号 'Heart Signal'.
有感觉 有感覺
yǒu gǎnjuéㄧㄡˇ ㄍㄢˇ ㄐㄩㄝˊ
feel something, have chemistry, literally “have feeling”
The vibe check: 我对你有感觉 'I'm into you' vs 没感觉 'no spark'. The rejection '我们没感觉' is the polite standard.
láidiànㄌㄞˊ ㄉㄧㄢˋ
sparks fly; chemistry clicks, literally “electricity arrives”
The electric metaphor for mutual attraction: '他们俩一来电就闪婚了'. No 电 means no chemistry.
yuánfènㄩㄢˊ ㄈㄣˋ
fate, destiny (between people), literally “affinity allotment”
The single most romantic concept in the language: a predestined affinity that decides who meets whom. '有缘无分' is tragedy; '缘分到了' is wedding invitations.
táohuāyùnㄊㄠˊ ㄏㄨㄚ ㄩㄣˋ
romantic luck; a run of admirers, literally “peach-blossom fortune”
The fortune-teller's term for being in a lucky stretch romantically. 桃花运旺 means admirers keep appearing; 烂桃花 is the unwanted kind.
àimèiㄞˋ ㄇㄟˋ
ambiguous; the almost-relationship, literally “dim-obscure”
The grey zone where it's clearly more than friends but nobody's said it: '他们很暧昧'. The flirtation stage Chinese slang treats as a relationship genre of its own.
chīcùㄔ ㄘㄨˋ
jealous (in love), literally “eat vinegar”
Jealousy as condiment: the folk etymology says an emperor tested a jealous wife by offering her poison that turned out to be vinegar. The everyday word for romantic jealousy.
sīniànㄙ ㄋㄧㄢˋ
to miss, long for, literally “think of and yearn”
The literary register of missing someone: poems and lyrics love it. For texting, 想你 is the everyday version.
想你了
xiǎng nǐ leㄒㄧㄤˇ ㄋㄧˇ ㄌㄜ˙
I miss you; I'm thinking of you, literally “thinking of you now”
The text message of Chinese romance: simple, frequent, loaded. The 了 marks the feeling having arrived. 想你了 vs 想你 reads softer.
sājiāoㄙㄚ ㄐㄧㄠ
act cute; wheedle, be coquettish, literally “let loose the dainty”
The art of weaponized cuteness: pouting, whining and baby-voice to get your way, usually deployed in relationships. 撒娇女人最好命 'women who act cute live best' is the famous line.
nìwaiㄋㄧˋ ㄨㄞ˙
clingy-sweet; lovey-dovey, literally “greasy-leaning”
Describes couples being glued to each other, affectionately or mockingly: '他们俩又开始腻歪了'. Also describes the sickly-sweet feeling it gives onlookers.
ròumáㄖㄡˋ ㄇㄚˊ
cheesy, makes-your-skin-crawl sweet, literally “flesh-numbing”
The cringe threshold of romance: 肉麻话 'sickly-sweet words'. Couples' private talk is 肉麻 to everyone else.
dǎqíng màqiàoㄉㄚˇ ㄑㄧㄥˊ ㄇㄚˋ ㄑㄧㄠˋ
flirty banter; lovers' teasing, literally “spar affection, scold charm”
The classic four-character term for couples' flirt-fighting: playful bickering that's actually affection.
méimù chuánqíngㄇㄟˊ ㄇㄨˋ ㄔㄨㄢˊ ㄑㄧㄥˊ
eyes that speak; sending looks, literally “brow-eye convey feelings”
The classical way to describe flirting with your eyes across a room. Literary register, still used ironically today.
gānchái lièhuǒㄍㄢ ㄔㄞˊ ㄌㄧㄝˋ ㄏㄨㄛˇ
dry wood meets fierce fire; explosive chemistry, literally “dry firewood fierce flame”
The metaphor for two attracted people alone together: describes the dangerous moment when nothing stops it.
xūqíng jiǎyìㄒㄩ ㄑㄧㄥˊ ㄐㄧㄚˇ ㄧˋ
fake affection; insincerity, literally “empty feeling false intention”
The accusation when the sweetness was performance: used for anyone whose warmth turned out transactional.
qíngdíㄑㄧㄥˊ ㄉㄧˊ
romantic rival, literally “love enemy”
The person competing for the same heart: melodrama vocabulary that made it into daily speech. 情敌见面分外眼红.
小鹿乱撞 小鹿亂撞
xiǎolù luànzhuàngㄒㄧㄠˇ ㄌㄨˋ ㄌㄨㄢˋ ㄓㄨㄤˋ
butterflies; heart pounding like a deer, literally “little deer colliding wildly”
The poetic name for the feeling: a small deer crashing around inside your chest. 小鹿乱撞 is what 心动 feels like.
春心荡漾 春心蕩漾
chūnxīn dàngyàngㄔㄨㄣ ㄒㄧㄣ ㄉㄤˋ ㄧㄤˋ
heart rippling with spring feelings, literally “spring heart rippling”
The frisky literary phrase: spring + heart + ripples = romantic arousal in classical register. Used with a knowing smile today.
xiāngsībìngㄒㄧㄤ ㄙ ㄅㄧㄥˋ
lovesickness, literally “mutual-miss illness”
Missing someone as a medical condition: the classical diagnosis for wasting away from love. 害相思病 is still how people describe it.
dānshēnㄉㄢ ㄕㄣ
single, literally “single body”
The status word: 单身多年 'single for years'. 单身贵族 'single aristocrat' is the ironic self-brand.
单身狗 單身狗
dānshēngǒuㄉㄢ ㄕㄣ ㄍㄡˇ
single dog; lonely single, literally “single dog”
The self-deprecating label the internet gave every single person: self-mockery armor. Watching couples is '吃狗粮' eating dog food.
duìxiàngㄉㄨㄟˋ ㄒㄧㄤˋ
boyfriend/girlfriend; a partner, literally “counterpart”
The everyday word for significant other in the north: 处对象 'be dating', 找对象 'looking for a partner'. Parents ask 有没有对象.
nánpéngyouㄋㄢˊ ㄆㄥˊ ㄧㄡ˙
boyfriend, literally “male friend”
Straightforward but loaded: asking 你有男朋友吗 is the direct availability check. The 朋友 gets dropped in casual speech (我男友).
nǚpéngyouㄋㄩˇ ㄆㄥˊ ㄧㄡ˙
girlfriend, literally “female friend”
The mirror term. 做我女朋友吧 is the classic line accompanying a 表白.
àirénㄞˋ ㄖㄣˊ
spouse, beloved (mainland usage), literally “love person”
Cross-strait trap: on the mainland 爱人 means 'my spouse' ('这是我爱人'). In Taiwan it means 'lover, paramour', which gives mainland introductions a different flavor entirely.
lǎogōngㄌㄠˇ ㄍㄨㄥ
hubby, husband, literally “old lord”
The everyday 'my husband': casual and affectionate, used both about and to the person. The formal counterpart 丈夫 appears on forms.
lǎopóㄌㄠˇ ㄆㄛˊ
wifey, wife, literally “old woman”
The everyday 'my wife', matching 老公. 老婆大人 'her majesty the wife' is the mock-deferential upgrade husbands deploy.
亲爱的 親愛的
qīn'àideㄑㄧㄣ ㄞˋ ㄉㄜ˙
darling, dear, literally “dear/beloved”
Two registers collide: genuine pet name between couples, and Taobao customer-service address ('亲' for short) that made it semi-comic. Couples also use it straight.
bǎobèiㄅㄠˇ ㄅㄟˋ
babe, treasure, literally “precious shell”
The standard pet name, for partners and children alike. 宝贝儿 with 儿化 sounds more natural in the north.
另一半
lìng yī bànㄌㄧㄥˋ ㄧ ㄅㄢˋ
one's other half, literally “the other half”
The modern way to say partner/spouse without gender or marital status: '你的另一半'. Interview-speak for relationships.
确定关系 確定關係
quèdìng guānxiㄑㄩㄝˋ ㄉㄧㄥˋ ㄍㄨㄢ ㄒㄧ˙
become official; define the relationship, literally “confirm the relationship”
The status-change conversation: the moment two people agree they're an item, ending the 暧昧 phase. The DTR talk.
见家长 見家長
jiàn jiāzhǎngㄐㄧㄢˋ ㄐㄧㄚ ㄓㄤˇ
meet the parents, literally “meet the elders”
The milestone that signals serious intent: in Chinese dating culture, meeting parents escalates the relationship faster than any other step.
chī dòufuㄔ ㄉㄡˋ ㄈㄨ˙
take liberties; cop a feel, literally “eat tofu”
The euphemism for unwanted flirty touching: '他占我便宜，吃我豆腐'. Folk etymology: tofu vendors' wives were famously pretty, so men kept 'buying tofu'.
撒糖
sǎtángㄙㄚˇ ㄊㄤˊ
sprinkle sugar; public displays of sweetness, literally “scatter candy”
The positive sibling of 撒狗粮: couples being openly sweet, making onlookers feel the sugar. Fandom slang for CPs feeding fans moments.
领证 領證
lǐngzhèngㄌㄧㄥˇ ㄓㄥˋ
get the marriage certificate, literally “collect the certificate”
The actual legal act: in China the certificate IS the marriage, the banquet is optional. '领证了吗' asks about the paperwork, not the party.
mìyuèㄇㄧˋ ㄩㄝˋ
honeymoon, literally “honey month”
Direct calque and standard word. 度蜜月 'spend the honeymoon' is the verb phrase.
裸婚
luǒhūnㄌㄨㄛˇ ㄏㄨㄣ
naked wedding; marrying with nothing, literally “bare marriage”
Marriage without house, car or banquet: the 2010s term for choosing love over assets. Provocative because it rejects the 有房有车 prerequisites.
tóngjūㄊㄨㄥˊ ㄐㄩ
cohabitate; living together unmarried, literally “same dwelling”
Living together before marriage: still a milestone conversation in Chinese families, entirely ordinary in the cities.
jiàzhuangㄐㄧㄚˋ ㄓㄨㄤ˙
dowry, literally “marriage goods”
What the bride's family contributes: historically furniture and goods, now often a car or apartment. The counterpart negotiation to the groom's 彩礼.
méipóㄇㄟˊ ㄆㄛˊ
matchmaker (the traditional woman), literally “matchmaking old-lady”
The old-school marriage broker: mocked in opera as meddling and mercenary, still alive in village weddings and nosy-auntie behavior.
公园相亲角 公園相親角
gōngyuán xiāngqīn jiǎoㄍㄨㄥ ㄩㄢˊ ㄒㄧㄤ ㄑㄧㄣ ㄐㄧㄠˇ
the parents' marriage market, literally “park matchmaking corner”
The phenomenon where parents advertise their adult children's specs on laminated sheets in public parks: Beijing's 中山公园 and Shanghai's 人民公园 are famous. Sociological goldmine.
上门女婿 上門女婿
shàngmén nǚxùㄕㄤˋ ㄇㄣˊ ㄋㄩˇ ㄒㄩˋ
live-in son-in-law, literally “door-entering son-in-law”
The husband who moves into the wife's family home: carries stigma of 'married-in' status, traditional reversal of the normal pattern.
分手费 分手費
fēnshǒufèiㄈㄣ ㄕㄡˇ ㄈㄟˋ
breakup fee, literally “separation fee”
Money demanded or offered to end a relationship: the transactional end of romance. Legal gray zone, tabloid staple.
fùhūnㄈㄨˋ ㄏㄨㄣ
remarry the ex, literally “re-marry”
Divorced then married the same person again: happens often enough to need its own word.
约炮 約炮
yuēpàoㄩㄝ ㄆㄠˋ
hookup; to hook up, literally “arrange a cannon”
The blunt modern term for casual sex: app-era vocabulary, no romance implied. If someone says it about your friend group, context is definitely not friendship.
一夜情
yíyèqíngㄧ ㄧㄝˋ ㄑㄧㄥˊ
one-night stand, literally “one-night feeling”
Softer than 约炮: implies a night that happened, not a transaction. The word in every 'morning after' storyline.
419
sì yāo jiǔ
one-night stand (texting code), literally “for one night”
Numeronym: 419 sounds like English 'for one night'. Written in profiles and chats because the characters are too blunt.
炮友
pàoyǒuㄆㄠˋ ㄧㄡˇ
friends with benefits, literally “cannon friend”
The recurring hookup arrangement: 炮 + 友. Crude but standard vocabulary in the dating-app era.
开房 開房
kāifángㄎㄞ ㄈㄤˊ
get a room (literal), literally “open a room”
Checking into a hotel has one dominant implied purpose: '他们去开房了' needs no further explanation. The literal innocence is part of the joke.
shàngchuángㄕㄤˋ ㄔㄨㄤˊ
sleep with; go to bed (with someone), literally “get on the bed”
Both literal and sexual: '他们上床了' is explicit about what happened. Context splits it from just going to sleep.
啪啪啪
pāpāpāㄆㄚ ㄆㄚ ㄆㄚ
the internet's sound effect for sex, literally “slap slap slap”
The onomatopoeia that made the word for sex textable: writing 啪啪啪 in a group chat is understood instantly and can't be censored as easily.
滚床单 滾床單
gǔn chuángdānㄍㄨㄣˇ ㄔㄨㄤˊ ㄉㄢ
roll in the sheets; have sex, literally “roll the bedsheet”
The playful euphemism: less transactional than 约炮, used for couples and gossip alike.
tuīdǎoㄊㄨㄟ ㄉㄠˇ
push down; get someone into bed, literally “push down”
Borrowed from ACG culture: the decisive physical move. Playful register, often joking ('今晚就把他推倒').
壁咚
bìdōngㄅㄧˋ ㄉㄨㄥ
the wall-slam move, literally “wall thud”
From Japanese kabedon: cornering someone against a wall with a hand slam, the dramatic shoujo-manga courtship move that became a Chinese loanword and meme.
摸头杀 摸頭殺
mōtóushāㄇㄛ ㄊㄡˊ ㄕㄚ
the head-pat that kills, literally “head-touch kill”
The irresistible move where a guy pats your head gently: -杀 suffix means 'lethal' for hearts. Drama-fan vocabulary.
强吻 強吻
qiángwěnㄑㄧㄤˊ ㄨㄣˇ
the forceful kiss, literally “force kiss”
The drama-trope kiss: romantic in fiction, assault-adjacent in real life, and notes on 撩 forums are explicit about the difference.
馋身子 饞身子
chán shēnziㄔㄢˊ ㄕㄣ ㄗ˙
lusting after someone's body, literally “crave the body”
The meme line '我就是馋你身子' reframed attraction as appetite: honest, vulgar-funny, the anti-romantic confession.
好骚啊 好騷啊
hǎo sāo aㄏㄠˇ ㄙㄠ ㄚ˙
how slutty; how shameless-hot, literally “so slutty”
From 回家的诱惑's legendary line 你怎么穿品如的衣服，你好骚啊: now a stock reaction to anyone being flagrantly extra.
闷骚 悶騷
mēnsāoㄇㄣ ㄙㄠ
outwardly calm, inwardly wild, literally “stifled saucy”
The compliment-insult for people whose quiet exterior hides a whole other personality: the accountant who does standup, the librarian with the tattoo. Universally flattering-adjacent.
fēngsāoㄈㄥ ㄙㄠ
sultry, seductive, literally “wind-sultry”
Originally from poetry (国风+离骚), modern usage means flaunting sex appeal. Can be admiring or cutting depending on tone.
jīkěㄐㄧ ㄎㄜˇ
thirsty; desperate for it, literally “hunger and thirst”
The blunt word for desperate sexual appetite: '他看起来特别饥渴' carries both the need and the mockery of it.
咸猪手 鹹豬手
xiánzhūshǒuㄒㄧㄢˊ ㄓㄨ ㄕㄡˇ
wandering hands; a groper, literally “salted pig's trotter”
The term for groping and the groper's hands: subway molestation reports use it. From the idiom of pigs' wandering appetites.
sèlángㄙㄜˋ ㄌㄤˊ
pervert, predator, literally “lust wolf”
The public-transit accusation word: 色狼 is a predatory man, wolf-imagery doing the work. Yelled at gropers.
色眯眯
sèmīmīㄙㄜˋ ㄇㄧ ㄇㄧ
leering, with hungry eyes, literally “lust with narrowed eyes”
Describes the look, not the act: '他色眯眯地盯着她看' is the description in every harassment complaint.
wěisuǒㄨㄟˇ ㄙㄨㄛˇ
creepy, sleazy, literally “vulgar and petty”
The defining adjective for creepy dudes: leering smiles, weird messages, hovering too close. '猥琐男' is the category.
xiàliúㄒㄧㄚˋ ㄌㄧㄡˊ
lewd, dirty-minded, literally “lower stream”
For behavior and jokes that cross into dirty: '下流话' is dirty talk. Slightly old-fashioned moral judgment word.
荤段子 葷段子
hūnduànziㄏㄨㄣ ㄉㄨㄢˋ ㄗ˙
dirty jokes, literally “meaty jokes”
Meat = raunchy in food-register euphemism: 荤段子 are the jokes told at banquets after the drinks. 素段子 are clean ones.
kāichēㄎㄞ ㄔㄜ
drive; going NSFW, literally “drive a car”
Internet double meaning: '老司机开车' means someone posted explicit content. '上车' is asking for it; '车门焊死' means no one's leaving.
老司机 老司機
lǎosījīㄌㄠˇ ㄙ ㄐㄧ
old driver; veteran of the NSFW roads, literally “old driver”
The connoisseur of raunchy content: implies experience and unflappability. '老司机带带我' is the famous plea.
污 汙
wūㄨ
dirty-minded (affectionate), literally “filthy”
The cute adjective for having a filthy mind: '你好污' is teasing praise. Its opposite in meme culture is 纯洁.
秒懂
miǎodǒngㄇㄧㄠˇ ㄉㄨㄥˇ
got it in a second (the dirty joke), literally “instant understand”
Understanding the double meaning instantly proves a dirty mind: '我秒懂了' is the confession.
懂的都懂
dǒng de dōu dǒngㄉㄨㄥˇ ㄉㄜ˙ ㄉㄡ ㄉㄨㄥˇ
those who know, know, literally “those who get it all get it”
The internet's way of not-saying-it: signalling shared knowledge while keeping plausible deniability.
你不对劲 你不對勁
nǐ bù duìjìnㄋㄧˇ ㄅㄨˋ ㄉㄨㄟˋ ㄐㄧㄣˋ
something's off with you (dirty mind alert), literally “you're not right”
The counter when someone reads too much into a message: '你不对劲' = your mind went there.
想歪了
xiǎng wāi leㄒㄧㄤˇ ㄨㄞ ㄌㄜ˙
thinking dirty; took it the wrong way, literally “thought crooked”
The defense: '你想歪了' denies the dirty reading was intended, often when it absolutely was.
撩骚 撩騷
liáosāoㄌㄧㄠˊ ㄙㄠ
flirty dirty talk, literally “tease slutty”
撩 gone explicit: flirty-chatting with heavy innuendo. The accusation form of the flirting verb.
chūguǐㄔㄨ ㄍㄨㄟˇ
cheat; have an affair, literally “leave the rails”
The metaphor does the work: off the rails = betrayal. The standard word in tabloids and divorce courts.
劈腿
pītuǐㄆㄧ ㄊㄨㄟˇ
two-timing; cheating, literally “split the legs”
Legs in two relationships at once: more physical-imagery than 出轨, same meaning. 劈腿男 the two-timer.
小三
xiǎosānㄒㄧㄠˇ ㄙㄢ
the mistress; the other woman, literally “little third”
The third party who breaks the couple: loaded, venomous, and the center of a whole genre of wife-versus-mistress drama.
èrnǎiㄦˋ ㄋㄞˇ
kept mistress, literally “second wife”
The economically-supported version: a mistress with an apartment and an allowance. 包二奶 is the crime-column fixture.
bāoyǎngㄅㄠ ㄧㄤˇ
keep (a mistress); sugar arrangement, literally “provide and support”
The transactional frame: money-for-company relationships. '被包养' is the status; sugar-daddy vocabulary for both genders now.
戴绿帽 戴綠帽
dài lǜmàoㄉㄞˋ ㄌㄩˋ ㄇㄠˋ
be cheated on; cuckolded, literally “wear the green hat”
The iconic Chinese cuckoldry image: since the Yuan dynasty a green hat marked a dishonored husband. 被绿了 is the modern shorthand. Never gift a man a green hat.
被绿了 被綠了
bèi lǜ leㄅㄟˋ ㄌㄩˋ ㄌㄜ˙
got cheated on, literally “got greened”
The modern passive form of the green hat: '绿了' as a verb means cheated. Green = betrayal in this one context.
zhuōjiānㄓㄨㄛ ㄐㄧㄢ
catch in the act, literally “catch the adultery”
The dramatic field-op: 捉奸在床 'catch them in bed' is the classical phrase still used in headlines and family drama.
中央空调 中央空調
zhōngyāng kōngtiáoㄓㄨㄥ ㄧㄤ ㄎㄨㄥ ㄊㄧㄠˊ
a guy who's warm to everyone, literally “central air conditioning”
The genius metaphor: central AC doesn't warm one room, it warms the whole building. The flirty friendly guy who treats every girl identically. Ambivalent label.
老牛吃嫩草
lǎoniú chī nèncǎoㄌㄠˇ ㄋㄧㄡˊ ㄔ ㄋㄣˋ ㄘㄠˇ
old bull eating tender grass; May-December romance, literally “old ox eats tender grass”
The classic saying for age-gap relationships: said with mockery, envy, or resignation depending on who's talking.
车震 車震
chēzhènㄔㄜ ㄓㄣˋ
car sex; the car-rocking, literally “car trembling”
Tabloid-coined and instantly universal: the term that made readers scan for fogged windows in paparazzi photos.
土味情话 土味情話
tǔwèi qínghuàㄊㄨˇ ㄨㄟˋ ㄑㄧㄥˊ ㄏㄨㄚˋ
cringy pickup lines, literally “earthy love talk”
The deliberately cheesy genre: '你今天怪怪的，怪好看的' (you're weird today, weirdly pretty). So bad they're good, the sharing is the point.
么么哒 麼麼噠
mōmedāㄇㄛ ㄇㄜ˙ ㄉㄚ
mwah; kisses, literally “kiss kiss”
The textable kiss: onomatopoeic and ubiquitous in flirty chats, also just friendly sign-off between close friends.
贴贴 貼貼
tiētieㄊㄧㄝ ㄊㄧㄝ˙
cuddles; clingy affection, literally “stick stick”
The cutesy reduplication for wanting to be physically close: internet-native, deliberately infantilizing affection.
吃狗粮 吃狗糧
chī gǒuliángㄔ ㄍㄡˇ ㄌㄧㄤˊ
watch couples be sweet; third-wheel suffering, literally “eat dog food”
The counterpart of 撒狗粮: single people 'eat dog food' watching couples be happy. Self-deprecating spectator vocabulary.
秀恩爱 秀恩愛
xiù ēn'àiㄒㄧㄡˋ ㄣ ㄞˋ
show off the relationship; PDA, literally “show affection”
Posting couple photos, matching outfits, joint accounts: the act that produces the dog food everyone else eats.
公主抱
gōngzhǔbàoㄍㄨㄥ ㄓㄨˇ ㄅㄠˋ
princess carry; bridal carry, literally “princess hold”
The romance-trope carry: lifting someone horizontally, one arm under the knees. Fitness test and courtship display at once.
执子之手 執子之手
zhí zǐ zhī shǒuㄓˊ ㄗˇ ㄓ ㄕㄡˇ
taking your hand (the vow), literally “holding your hand”
The first half of the Book of Songs' most quoted line: 执子之手，与子偕老 'holding your hand, growing old with you'. The wedding-vow source.
情人眼里出西施 情人眼裡出西施
qíngrén yǎnlǐ chū Xīshīㄑㄧㄥˊ ㄖㄣˊ ㄧㄢˇ ㄌㄧˇ ㄔㄨ ㄒㄧ ㄕ
in a lover's eyes appears Xi Shi; beauty is in the eye, literally “lover's eyes produce Xi Shi”
The beauty-is-subjective saying: Xi Shi being China's archetypal beauty. Explains every relationship that puzzles outsiders.
萝卜白菜各有所爱 蘿蔔白菜各有所愛
luóbo báicài gè yǒu suǒ àiㄌㄨㄛˊ ㄅㄛ˙ ㄅㄞˊ ㄘㄞˋ ㄍㄜˋ ㄧㄡˇ ㄙㄨㄛˇ ㄞˋ
radishes and cabbage each have their lovers; to each their own, literally “radish cabbage each has its loved”
The egalitarian saying: tastes differ and everyone's type is valid. The deflationary answer to 'how did they end up together'.
日久生情
rìjiǔ shēngqíngㄖˋ ㄐㄧㄡˇ ㄕㄥ ㄑㄧㄥˊ
feelings grow with time, literally “days long feelings born”
The slow-burn theory of love, opposite of 一见钟情: arranged-marriage logic turned romantic observation.
床头打架床尾和 床頭打架床尾和
chuángtóu dǎjià chuángwěi héㄔㄨㄤˊ ㄊㄡˊ ㄉㄚˇ ㄐㄧㄚˋ ㄔㄨㄤˊ ㄨㄟˇ ㄏㄜˊ
fight at the headboard, make up at the foot, literally “bedhead fights, bedfoot harmony”
The grandparent wisdom: couples' fights don't survive the night. The spatial metaphor maps conflict and reconciliation onto the same bed.
打是亲骂是爱 打是親罵是愛
dǎ shì qīn mà shì àiㄉㄚˇ ㄕˋ ㄑㄧㄣ ㄇㄚˋ ㄕˋ ㄞˋ
hitting is affection, scolding is love, literally “hit is kin, scold is love”
The twisted logic of the old discipline style: used ironically now, but it explains why older generations show care through nagging.
七年之痒 七年之癢
qīnián zhī yǎngㄑㄧ ㄋㄧㄢˊ ㄓ ㄧㄤˇ
the seven-year itch, literally “seven-year itch”
Calqued from Marilyn Monroe's The Seven Year Itch and fully naturalized: the point where marriages get restless.
小别胜新婚 小別勝新婚
xiǎo bié shèng xīnhūnㄒㄧㄠˇ ㄅㄧㄝˊ ㄕㄥˋ ㄒㄧㄣ ㄏㄨㄣ
a short separation beats the wedding night, literally “small parting beats new marriage”
Absence makes hearts fonder: the saying that justifies business trips and long-distance stretches.
qiǎng niǔ de guā bù tiánㄑㄧㄤˇ ㄋㄧㄡˇ ㄉㄜ˙ ㄍㄨㄚ ㄅㄨˋ ㄊㄧㄢˊ
a forcibly picked melon isn't sweet, literally “force-twisted melon not sweet”
The wisdom against pressuring someone into a relationship: consent metaphor through agriculture. Deployed against both pushy suitors and pushy parents.
天涯何处无芳草 天涯何處無芳草
tiānyá héchù wú fāngcǎoㄊㄧㄢ ㄧㄚˊ ㄏㄜˊ ㄔㄨˋ ㄨˊ ㄈㄤ ㄘㄠˇ
fragrant grass grows everywhere under heaven; plenty of fish, literally “sky's edge where lacks fragrant grass”
The breakup consolation from Su Shi's own lyrics: there are fish in every sea. What friends say when you're dumped.
兔子不吃窝边草 兔子不吃窩邊草
tùzi bù chī wōbiāncǎoㄊㄨˋ ㄗ˙ ㄅㄨˋ ㄔ ㄨㄛ ㄅㄧㄢ ㄘㄠˇ
rabbits don't eat the grass by their burrow; don't date coworkers, literally “rabbit doesn't eat burrow-edge grass”
The practical wisdom against romancing where you live or work: convenience isn't worth the fallout radius.
好马不吃回头草 好馬不吃回頭草
hǎomǎ bù chī huítóucǎoㄏㄠˇ ㄇㄚˇ ㄅㄨˋ ㄔ ㄏㄨㄟˊ ㄊㄡˊ ㄘㄠˇ
a good horse doesn't return to old grass; never go back to an ex, literally “good horse doesn't eat return grass”
The dignity argument against 复合: pride and forward motion over going back. Deployed whenever someone's wavering.
鲜花插在牛粪上 鮮花插在牛糞上
xiānhuā chā zài niúfèn shàngㄒㄧㄢ ㄏㄨㄚ ㄔㄚ ㄗㄞˋ ㄋㄧㄡˊ ㄈㄣˋ ㄕㄤˋ
a fresh flower stuck on cow dung; she's too good for him, literally “flower inserted in cow dung”
The blunt assessment of mismatched couples: beauty wasted on beast. Cruel but instantly understood.
窈窕淑女君子好逑
yǎotiǎo shūnǚ jūnzǐ hǎo qiúㄧㄠˇ ㄊㄧㄠˇ ㄕㄨ ㄋㄩˇ ㄐㄩㄣ ㄗˇ ㄏㄠˇ ㄑㄧㄡˊ
the graceful lady is the gentleman's ideal match, literally “graceful lady, gentleman's good mate”
The Book of Songs' opening lines, 2500 years of courtship in one couplet: every Chinese schoolchild memorizes it, every screenwriter quotes it.
嫁鸡随鸡嫁狗随狗 嫁雞隨雞嫁狗隨狗
jià jī suí jī jià gǒu suí gǒuㄐㄧㄚˋ ㄐㄧ ㄙㄨㄟˊ ㄐㄧ ㄐㄧㄚˋ ㄍㄡˇ ㄙㄨㄟˊ ㄍㄡˇ
marry a chicken follow the chicken; marry a dog follow the dog, literally “wed chicken follow chicken, wed dog follow dog”
The fatalistic old saying about accepting your marriage as fate: quoted ironically now, quoted seriously by grandmothers.
宁拆十座庙不毁一桩婚 寧拆十座廟不毀一樁婚
nìng chāi shí zuò miào bù huǐ yī zhuāng hūnㄋㄧㄥˋ ㄔㄞ ㄕˊ ㄗㄨㄛˋ ㄇㄧㄠˋ ㄅㄨˋ ㄏㄨㄟˇ ㄧ ㄓㄨㄤ ㄏㄨㄣ
rather demolish ten temples than break one marriage, literally “rather tear ten temples than ruin one marriage”
The traditional priority: preserving a marriage outranks almost everything. Explains why Chinese families push reconciliation so hard.